Paalam, Gng. Aquino

MOTHER

I grew up without a mom.

Neither do I have a mother figure to look up to while growing up. It was always my Tito Mac who attended to my needs... always him who had my back when things are good, especially when things got a little shaky.

I can remember the feeling of not having a "family". It was a bit sad, seeing my classmates with their parents through PTA meetings and recognition day. I get still get a bit sappy when I think about how I got through puberty without having a mom, to chat with about periods and crushes and other girly things. I guess I would've skipped my NBA-jersey-wearing days if I had a woman I can talk to.

Don't get me wrong though, I love my Tito Mac and I am thankful I have him. I'd never be who I am today if it wasn't for him. I was just lamenting on how different it could have been if I had a mother.

And so, I was saddened when I came across the news that Cory Aquino, once a mother to the nation, passed away last Saturday as the heavens cried.


I broke down while watching Pres. Cory's documentary last night, when they showed a clip of her hugging a crying Kris Aquino (taken back at the "Joey Marquez" issue), the daughter sobbing her apologies. She was embracing Kris, as if telling her that things are going to be alright, that she didn't love her less despite the stumbles she took. I have always longed for that feeling, and for the first time in my life, I envied Kris for having her as a mom. She was proud to have her (Kris), as her daughter and stood by her no matter what -- something I didn't get from a mother for 18 years now.

My "mom and pop in one", Tito Mac though was there with me as I grew up, listening to him singing "Tie A Yellow Ribbon" and his Martial Law stories. As he shared how him and my aunt rallied for liberty, it grew upon me the role Mrs. Aquino played for Philippine history in one of it's startling revelations.

I have always admired Pres. Cory for her strength and unwavering faith. She led a nation through one of its biggest revolt, without anything to write at the "occupation" field but "housewife" when she filed for her presidential candidacy, and emerged victorious -- showing the whole world that anything could be done with people and faith, together.

Corazon, as her name in Spanish means "heart", became the icon for democracy, the embodiment of Filipino emotion, pumping life to her countrymen, and as if it wasn't enough, carrying her family through times of turmoil. She never had to shed blood to do what was right, but instead fought for what she believed in, longed for justice and freedom not only for her husband but for her country as a whole. Coups came and went but she stood like steel. She never had any ammo but people and prayers. When the time came to give away her position, she was never lured into the glory of power, handing over the seat as if to say "the job is done". She worked as a civilian attending political gatherings here and there, always the woman clad in yellow, clutching her rosary... the same soft spoken woman who urged the country to move as one and get back the freedom which was rightfully ours two decades ago.

As her family and the whole nation weep for the country's loss, rest assured she will always be remembered not only by the Filipino people but by the whole world -- a woman who showed grace under scrutiny, strength under trial... a mother who carried her kin and the Philippines in her cradle , a woman who has won each and every battle fought.

Rest in peace Mrs. Cory Aquino, may you and Ninoy guide the nation.

SCHRODINGER'S CAT

let it out of the box.

CLOSING CYCLES

One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through.

Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters

Whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave the past the moments of life that have finished. Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents' house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden?

You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won't take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that.

But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.

None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return: we cannot forever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back.

Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away. That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.

Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.

Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the ideal moment. Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person. Nothing is irreplaceable. A habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.

Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust. Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.

Paulo Coelho

ZE PHOTO MEME / HI!

For lack of better things to post (it's always work, work work for moi - and at the same time found the meme cute), this one I lifted off my FB page.

PHOTO SCAVENGER

1. A picture of you in your room

Eet must be ze pick!

2. A picture of you posing with someone you don't actually like.

Pwede bang something na lang? I heart this picture but the cancer stick... ugh.
WHY CANN'T I QUIIIT YOUUU?!?!?!?

3.A picture with a former crush

Foine! We were kids! I had a crush on him I think, Circa "97? (This was taken last 2007)

4. A picture of you very drunk
Ay wala sorry! That's one of my goals in life... to have that head-splitting hangover!!! LOL

5. A picture of you with a parent or two.

Daddy's girl :)

6. A picture of you on your birthday, or your favorite holiday.

Holy Week 2003 (or 2002) with my best-est friend Kristine, Good Friday procession

7. A picture of you from your younger years

I was 3yo or 4yo I theenk

8. A picture of you in one of your favorite outfits

Happy camper! Freyja reporting for duty Sir!

9. A picture of you making a goofy face at the camera.

With Jeb and Vanna at Starbucks Katipunan

10. A picture you might have edited to make yourself more attractive.

Wala ako makita e. Heheh. I like me eyes on this one so...

11. A picture of you and a team or club you're in.

SOE - Force One! Huhaaa!

12. A picture of a night you regret...

With Sid and Micmac, on the way to the office.
I could've spent more time with you Kuya Sid :(

13. A picture of you showing off a new haircut. (even if it's an old haircut)

I was sick. This is what I call ze "Grade-One Hurrr"

14. A picture of you truly being yourself.

WALANG POISE. :P

15. Your most recent picture

Air-vent-tunnel-thingy at Malinta Hill

16. A picture of you being absolutely ridiculous

I was playing with my socks, then the teacher called me to sing the
National Anthem LOLXORZ. See? I started young!

Pwede din to...


Beer on water dispenser = WIN!

17. A picture you're tagged in on facebook that you aren't actually in.
Wala ata. Just those "Tag your friends" thingies.

18.A picture of a time in your life that's over, but you wish it wasn't.

High School. Need I say more?

19. A picture of a time in your life that's over, and
you couldn't be more thankful that it is.

The fasyon! The hurrr! Ugh, Elementary days!
(1998 if I'm not mistaken, danced the boogie for Foundation Day(?))

20. A picture with your oldest friend

Bestfriends since 3yo :)

21. A picture with your newest friend/s

Not new but... ISAW TIEM!

22. A picture of you when you were anything but happy...
even if you were smiling and did your best to hide it.

'Twas a weird night I tells ya

23. A picture of you that you had no idea was being taken

I <3>

and this one...


and this one...


and this one! LOL

24. A picture of you when you were a different person than you are now

Sagada 2003. I was thin and empathetic. LOL

25. A picture of you in a fashion "DON'T"

WTH was I wearin'?!?!?!?

26. A picture of you in a swimsuit - whether you love it or loathe it.

Haven't worn a swimsuit and actually swam on the beach for a loooong time nao.

27. A picture of you taking a shot / chugging a beer
/ downing some sort of mixed drink.

OKAAAY. I was pretending! Hahah!

28. A picture of yourself that you hate

Love and hate is more like it. THE CANCER STICK!

29. A picture of you with someone you love.

Yahtzee baby!

30. A picture of how you'd like the world to see you

Always a kid ;)

31. A picture that describes how you'd like to spend every day.
.
At the beach, with a good book or...


seeing the world through Zoe :)

32. A picture of a time when everything was changing

EMO TIEM! Hahaha!

33. A picture that makes your heart hurt

I miss my Lola :(

34. A picture that makes your heart smile

I dunno where I'd be without my Tito Mac :)

35. A picture of one of the best times of your life

DBAA 2008 with my Gawad Kalinga boys :)

- - -

Oh yeah, the travel buddy says "Hi" from Corregidor ;)

BFF

It's been me and my trusty pink chucks (which i refuse to clean) that's been going places now, scouring new spots and places to shoot. I can still remember the day she first braved the rain and flood with me, to visit a sick friend at the UST Hospital.

This was taken in Baguio after a day of walking, following the flower parade of Panagbenga 09.

I wonder where she'll take me next?

STILL ALIVE

still alive.

just busy taking pics cause they last longer :)

ZE WEEK BEFORE ZE BOITDEY

I am surprisingly, in no mood to create a birthday wishlist this year, let alone write an emo post or anything about my yearly pre/post birthday depression. I figured people are always wishing for the same "Ms. Universe"-ish wishes everyday of the year (like peace and all that shitznick) so I'm just going to stay light and be thankful for everything that comes along my way everyday, no matter how good or bad it is, until I turn 24, 25, 26...

23rd it is on the 29th. Not bad eh? I'm thinking of summarizing the lessons I've learned into 23 sentences but I know it wouldn't be enough. Sorting out those lessons'll take time off my weekend so, wth. I guess you all know the gist as my life is an open book, a telenovela rather, waiting to be translated into a different language. :P

Next week is pretty exciting, since we only have 3 days to work and a very long weekend to look forward to (cheers for Thanksgiving!). Nevermind that I don't have any plans of going out or doing something to appease my working persona (except for seeing Twilight 3x) - but I might be spending my birthday wrapping gifts for the Gawad Kalinga kids together with my friends at Highfiber.org for our yearly TTNL - now that is something worthwhile. I couldn't imagine having a better birthday than making someone else, or a whole bunch of kids happy even in my own little way.

So, should I take this as the cul-de-sac of my materialistic nature whenever my birthday is looming? Get me that SB-600 will ya?

Have a great weekend everyone!

NOH-VEM-BURR

Obviously, I have been too busy Plurking that's why I haven't updated this one for a while. Add it up to a list of things to do and work to get done, I'm swamped way past my eyebrows with stuff to accomplish before the year ends.

What happened the past couple'a days? Worked, ate, slept, dressed up as Yuna from FFX for Halloween (and won the competition!), got crazy over the Twilight Series (which the first book's movie adaptation will be shown on Nov. 26 here in the PH - explains the OST on my blog)... everything's pretty much the same as I always say - same old, same old.

Nevertheless, it's already November and y'all know what it means... my boitdey's comin' up!

So what 'dya expect from this post then? A post about how Obama won? Moscow-scandal? A list of the things I want *smug look*? .... The answer is Nope.

I have yet to figure out the things I want (except for the "Ms. Universe/slum book" staple answers that I really mean, need and want) so I'll just cap this post with a picture I took last November 2 at the Libingan Ng Mga Bayani.





Have a great day everyone! :)

AU REVOIR, DEAR HARLEY_QUINN

† Hazel Danielle Santos
1980-2008

To my fashionista, Binondo-ista, blue-shoes wearing friend... The one who made witty remarks about everyone and anyone - about anything and everything (that not even my fish escaped her wit)... The girl who greeted and ended the day with a smile... The girl who saw happiness in everything... There are no words.

If there’s anything you taught by being your friend, it is to live life to the fullest and see the joy in everything - even if your shoes doesn’t match your outfit because they're blue .

Goodbye Hazel. Until we meet again.

On Highfiber.org | On Plurk

FINALLY!

Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen is SOOOOOOO HOT. I can't wait for November 21! :D



See? Rob Pattinson and I are meant to be. *swooon*